Hello, I just wanted to say how beautiful your blog is. It is one of the best i have seen. Anyway i was wondering if you could help me in some way because im feeling abit down an confused. I love Jesus with all of my heart and soul and with the help of his blessed Mother i have come so far in my relationship with him, but i have so much more growing to do. With Gods grace i have been able to live a life that is pleasing to him and that follows what the catholic church teaches. Although i have overcome some big obstacles in my life, my biggest struggle i am finding now are over comming the little things. There is one thing that i am struggling with imparticular and that is i feel God is calling me to give up everything that would give me joy, and what you would call fun like just everyday things, listening to music, going out with friends you know the usual. Although they are not harmful in themselves i feel it is a waste of time. I can’t explain this feeling. The best way i can describe it is as if everything even the small things make me feel empty and only Jesus can fill that emptyness and all i want and need is him. Like all these things are just useless because they take up precious time i could be spending with the Lord and Our Lady. Then at the very same time i get hit with this feeling of i don’t even want to pray. I find it hard to say the rosary sometimes and i just can't be bothered which is confusing and horrible, because i know i love Jesus, and I feel like i don’t Love Jesus as much as i say i do when i feel like this. It is a horrible feeling because i do love him. I Love him more than life itself. Do you have any idea what could be making me feel like this? im just so confused. If you could help that would be great.
Godbless you x
Asketh - rebeccalondon-deactivated201110

You sound a lot like I did a few years ago. I gave up all of my extracurriculars and forced myself to pray even when I didn’t want to. It took me a while but I realized that prayer is not just repeating words and saying the Rosary. Yes, that is prayer, but that is not the only way to pray. After I spent some time with some amazing Sisters I learned how to do this. Maybe you would like this as well, so I’ll share it.

I learned to try to make every action during the day a prayer. For example, when I turned the light switch on or off I would say “Eternal rest grant onto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace.” When I wash dishes I think of all the times Our Lady washed Our Lord’s dishes in the home in Nazareth. When I climb stairs I think of the Via Dolorosa that Our Lord had to climb to Golgotha. My advice is to start slow and add maybe one aspiration/prayer like this every week or so until they come without having to put much thought into it. This has helped me a lot and I hope it works for you as well. I realized I wasn’t called to give up everything, that God just wanted me to recognize Him in my life. Even Jesus partied at the wedding at Cana.

I hope this helps. Have a great weekend. I will be praying for you.
God Bless!
Amanda